Fisher expresses gratitude for Navy experienceBy JUDY R.LAZARUS
Author, screenwriter, director, producer and Navy veteran Antwone Fisher returned to Great Lakes where he was a recruit in 1977. The guest of honor at the recruit graduation, on Aug. 20, found his 11 years in the Navy taught him a lot about himself.
“The Navy changed my course,” he said. “I was able to achieve. I learned to be the kind of person I didn’t know I could be.
“I made a home in the Navy,” Fisher said. “It is willing to give young people a chance even if they’re not perfect. I’m not the only one. So many people who get out of the military do well with what they have learned. The Navy understands it is dealing with human beings. It treats you with dignity. It took the time with me.”
The former ship’s serviceman’s early life was rocky, with foster homes, reform school, and homelessness at 17.
In the Navy he began seeing a psychiatrist, and was surrounded by mentors. He learned to accept responsibility. “If you learn that when you’re 21 or 22 it gives you a head start,” he said. Touring Recruit Training Command last week, Fisher was impressed with all the changes since his last visit in 2003.
“It looks like a college campus,” he said. “Anybody coming there can have high hopes for the future. It is inspiring the way the Navy cares about its incoming people.” In the civilian world Fisher began life as a correction officer, then moved to Hollywood where he became a security guard for Sony Pictures.
A free screenwriting course led to more Hollywood work. After writing the screenplay for the film “Antwone Fisher,” and the book “Finding Fish,” he continued his creative work, producing and directing. Fisher also finds time to teach in the UCLA extension writers program.
“The Navy gave me so many chances to reinvent myself so that when I got out I was ready.”
Fathers can’t be perfect, they just have to try!
A conversation with author Antwone Fisher:
Antwone Fisher gushes when he talks about his children. He says that they are a gift from God and he learns some- thing from them everyday. More importantly, he hopes that he is living a life that sets an example, beyond his words, for them as they grow into adulthood.
Setting an example for children is a very important thing to Fisher. He believes if more parents would stop trying to be perfect and just strive to be good, decent and moral ex- amples for their children, we could make a significant dif- ference in their lives. “It’s not as complicated as we try to make it out to be,” said Fisher in an interview this week.
“Yes, children are facing a very challenging and complex world today that includes drugs, gangs, early sexual expo- sure, loneliness and much more. But let’s be honest, we had similar choices when we were young,” he said. “But we had the added value of parents, grandparents and family members who were much more engaged in our lives and we knew that we had the added factor of facing our family if we made the wrong decisions,” he added.
Fisher, the author of “Finding Fish,” which became the award-winning film Antwone Fisher starring Denzel Wash- ington, rejects the common stereotype that black families are any more prone to dysfunction than any other segment of society. However, he said, if we do see problems in black families all we have to do is look at our history in America for an explanation.
“During slavery our families were destroyed. Many male slaves were actually kept from ever having a relationship with a woman. We were bred like animals and the family unit wasn’t allowed to grow and form naturally,” explained Fisher.
“And then you look at the welfare laws in this coun- try which required men to stay away from their families and if you add onto that the images of absent black men in our music, in films, in literature and in pop culture and you have created some men who believe that they can’t be any- thing right. ”
By Anthony McCarthy Baltimore Times
But for Fisher, whose father died before he was born, all men have to do is have the desire to be good fathers and the resources are all around them to succeed. “If you can reach beyond the fear of failure and have confidence in yourself and your ability to love uncondition- ally, you can be a good father to your children,” he ex- plained.“Children watch us and they want us to be genuine with them. They may set you up as a superhero but if you are consistent with them and a constant presence in their lives, they will begin to see you as human and, believe it or not, that allows them to be human and not afraid to explore, to grow and to make mistakes,” said Fisher.
In his new book, “A Boy Should Know How to Tie a Tie,” “I can remember a time when I went to hug my favorite uncle,” said Fisher. “He pushed me away and I was given the message through his actions that men aren’t supposed to be affectionate and that we’re not to express ourselves with our male children,” he added.
Fisher said that too many men have been sent these silent messages and we have to find a way to break the cycle.“My advice to men is sim- ple. You must tell your chil- dren that you love them everyday and back those words up with actions that let them know that you will be there for them no matter what the situation.”
He also said it’s important that we show the proper re- spect to our children because that teaches them how to treat others.
“If you respect and listen to their viewpoint and you re- spect how they dress and how they express themselves, they [will] pick up on that,” said Fisher. “And then they learn to listen to others and to re- spect the differences in others, it helps them navigate the world.”
Asked what he wanted from his children for the Father’s Day holiday the author was quick to answer. “They don’t have to give me anything. I have everything I need,” he said. “All I want from my children is their respect and love for me and their mother and for them to love themselves as much as I do.”
"A Boy Should Know How to Tie a Tie" reads like separate conversations between a father and son as the father prepares the son to face society on his own. My Summer Friend In “My Summer Friend,” Romell (Mykelti Williamson), just released after serving 16 years in prison, is assigned to work at a Jewish convalescent home, where he forms an unlikely friendship with Aliza (Annie Abbott), a Holocaust survivor. As she describes her tragic experiences and urges Romell to reflect on his life, the ex-convict changes his outlook and learns to recognize the value of time. Romell, in turn, proves invaluable to Aliza: “He gives her the chance to tell her story,” Fisher said. Instructor Statement: Wouldn't it be great if all you needed to gain a long and successful career in Hollywood were talent, a great agent and your ability to write the screenplays that every studio executive wants to buy? Well, you're going to need that and more. I've learned that it's crucial to have an edge over the other talented screenwriters knocking on Hollywood's door. You can begin to get that edge by developing your value as a person and a personality in the process of the business. You can achieve this several other ways as well, all of which, for some writers, may require that you step outside of your comfort zone, setting the stage for your career. Perhaps you may need an escort or a letter of introduction from a prominent member of Hollywood's inner circle. Attaining these is possible, and I suggest methods on how to obtain some of these keys that can unlock Hollywood's door. I encourage my students not to rely totally on the traditional avenues of gaining a fruitful career as a writer in Hollywood, but to use innovative techniques, the force of their personalities and the power of their distinctive writing style to win a place in the business..- Antwone Fisher Winter Quarter 2011 by Craig Wilson USATODAY Fisher tells his readers how to polish shoes, how to eat well, how to shave without butchering your face. He even gives step-by-step tips on how to iron a shirt. Buy this man a drink!
Great for young men (15 -23) or the father's of younger boys,
From the title I had surmised that the target age on this book would be a little younger & that it would contain more instructional information and less personal experience. In short, I thought it was going to be an instructional book with outlines and diagrams. It is not, and I found Fisher's approach to be surprisingly refreshing.
Antoine Fisher does a superb job explaining not only how to preform tasks and how to conduct one's self in various situations, but more importantly why a young man should consider these details in the first place. It provides very thorough lessons in how and why a young man can show that he takes pride in every aspect of his life.
These are lessons that a man should be imparting to his son, but if your son has no man in his life, get this book so that Mr. Fisher can lend you a hand. If you are a dad, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have the book on hand to refer to when you need a refresher or when you want your son to hear it from a different voice. Sometimes kids "get" these lessons more quickly when they hear them from someone who famous.
This will make an awesome Father's Day gift for any dad who likes to fine-tune his fathering knowledge. It should also be in the suitcase (backpack?) of every young man as he leaves home for good (or maybe even college). This book is a keeper and I will continue to refer to it often.
Note: I do wish that the Table of Contents had included the sub-headings contained within each chapter. It would make for easier reference when you need to quickly refer to great way Mr. Fisher presented the importance of hand-washing or the art of correctly matching sock color to shoe color. amazonbuyerA Boy Should Know How to Tie a Tie: And Other Lessons for Succeeding in Life (Hardcover)
"When you are alone at the end of your life, you need to tell somebody that you lived, you loved, you had pain and joy, you went through a terrible time but survived. - Antwone Fisher"UCLA EXTENSION
Final Word: These ties that bind us are not for naught
Growing up in foster care and then as a homeless teen, Fisher had few role models, let alone anyone who would teach him how to iron a shirt or tie a tie. It wasn't until he was in the Navy that he realized he didn't know how to do one of the most basic exercises in a man's daily routine.
That's why he has declared May 4 as National Tie a Tie Day. Good for him. Considering how people dress today, National Tie a Tie Day is long overdue. Maybe too little, too late, but it's a start at least. You only have to walk the streets or sit at an airport gate to witness the sad state of dress in this country. Casual Friday has turned into slob Sunday. And Monday and Tuesday and ...
We'll never return to the days when people actually dressed up to get on an airplane. I understand that. But it would be nice to at least have fellow passengers look like they hadn't slept in their clothes. Fisher's message of good grooming is welcome relief.
He does make one omission, though. He admits he owns three good suits ― his "uniform" as he calls them ― but he never mentions a blue blazer, which I was always told would take you anywhere you want to go. I can't remember who told me that, but their travel advice was correct. So, young men, here's a tip from me. Buy a good blue blazer.
As for ties, my dad taught me how to tie a half-Windsor when I was about 10. I taught myself how to tie a bow tie in college, a skill that still mystifies many. "Did you tie that yourself?" is almost always the question asked when I wear one. "No," I reply. "I have someone who does it for me." I suspect some think that's actually true.
So if you need help with a bow tie, I can assist. I've even instructed people how to do so over the telephone. Believe me, it's no easy feat. But it's a small price to pay for trying to make the world just a bit better-looking.
Petty Officer Second Class Antwone Fisher
USN Veteran
1977 - 1989
NEC: SH-0000
United States Navy
View My Shadow Box on Togetherweserved.com
